Mark Hunter of James'
Bum of Frustration


Recently, in a rather bizarre case, Mark Hunter, keyboard player for the highly successful Manchester-based pop band James, was arrested for indecent exposure, assault, and resisting arrest.

It seems that Hunter was out for a jog near his Crumpsall residence when local motorist Ian Christie cut him off. Angered at his brush with death, Hunter stepped in front of the offending car, which had stopped to make sure Hunter was uninjured, and began hollering obscenities at the driver.

The driver, shocked by the extremely crude language being hurled at him, then got out of his car in hopes of calming the quarrelsome musician down.

"He just turned bright red and started hollering at me. I didn't actually hit him, so I don't know what he was so upset about," the frightened motorist told police.

Hunter, upon receiving no reciprocal response from the guilty motorist, proceeded to climb onto the man's car and began trying to kick in the windshield, according to an eyewitness.

Hearing the commotion, and fearing the outbreak of a fistfight, a local resident called the police. Upon the arrival of the police on the scene ten minutes later, Hunter, still enraged by his near homicide and still standing on the hood of Christie's car, turned his wrath on the police.

He is quoted as saying, "You wanna drag my ass in? F*@$ that! Take the man who tried to murder me! He's just a fucking blue collar git, I'm a f*@$ing megastar!!" At which point, according to bystanders, he then hollered "You want my ass in prison you got it!" and dropped his trousers, turning around and revealing his backside in its full glory to the police.

Hunter is being held pending a psychiatric examination and is therefore unavailable for comment; but the band's violinist, Saul Davies, told the press "He's so abnormally quiet. We knew he had to snap sometime."


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