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Welsh Witch Drums His Way to the Top

Thanks to Gregory Pauswinski for the pic!

James’ found themselves amidst scandal for the second time in a year following the revelations of drummer David Bayton-Power, that he is in fact a warlock. Bayton-Power revealed his secret identity to Leaking in a recent interview.

Evidently, he first discovered his powers when he returned to Wales after recording the band’s new album, Whiplash in London. He was walking in a forest one night and came across “these banging parties happening out in the forests. Once I discovered that, I just thought Wales is the best place on earth.” He talks of “unregulated” parties” and of “fun,” something the media had previously accused James of not having.

Through his participation in these raves, Bayton-Power claims he has learned to warp space and time, and to make people bend to his will. Baynton-Power, comments, “It’s taken a while to get to that space, but I think I’ve managed it.” He attributes James’ recent chart successes to his slipping a potent witches’ brew into the UK water system. He explains, “It’s all about the water temperature,” going on to add that anybody drinking a cup of tea could have been affected.

Bayton-Power has even gone so far as to bewitch his bandmates, causing singer Tim Booth’s hairline to recede. He explains this trick as involving him going “ooooohhh” [makes noise]” and then hypnotising the hairs to fall of the singer’s head. He has also been held responsible for hypnotising the band and convincing them to pose for the recent disgraceful pictures of the band, naked in the NME. Leaking has quoted him elsewhere as saying to his bandmates, “It was like, ‘Lads, we’ve been here before, let’s do something, let’s make a move.’ You know what I mean?” He also cast a spell over bassist Jim Glennie, which he laments did not take, saying of his bandmate, “He’s fuckin’ untouchable.”

Unfortunately, the effects of this conversion to the Black Arts and his use against them have caused some distress for the other members of the band, who fear his next godlike move. Singer Booth has taken to wearing a sack of protective crystals around his neck, seen in clear view during the band’s performance on 120 Minutes recently.

As for the band’s future in light of recent developments? Bayton-Power could only tell us, “But there [are] some bleak moments [right now]. There always have been in James’ history. Like when disasters happen is when we sort of get going.”

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