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Exerpts from the Diary of Jarvis

December 8, 1978 - Those bloody punks at school depantsed me again. They think they have so much style and attitude and this gives them a right to run me trousers up the flagpole. What little they really know. I realised, as they were pummeling me, that they are only half right. I'm going to show them all. And I won't need knives or guns or fists. I'll attack with my mind, and what better way to get my message across than through music. People are always putting subliminal messages in music, after all. And as for talent, who cares? Nobody's got talent these days, I mean look at all the bloody punk bands. They're pissed off and they're getting their message across in their songs, even if it does sound like a bunch of shite. Mark my words, Jarvis Cocker will not be ignored. Even if it takes me 15 years, people will love me, and I will rule the world I can wait 20 years if I have to, but I'm gonna run the world one day.

March 3, 1979 - Took the first step towards world domination today. I let my bandmates in on the plan. I figure, the best way to get your message across is the airwaves. Besides more people read the NME than the Times. And if I become a rock star I get the girls and the drugs too. Decided to call the band P.U.L.P. It stands for People United for Looking Pretty.

December 12, 1983 - Saw this interesting band called The Smiths today. They have an amazing sense of style and drama. Mental note to write their singer and recruit him into P.U.L.P. I need to prepare the stage for my arrival. It will probably be better to do this gradually, sew the seeds with others then step in when the time is right. Like Napoleon. I will be the Emperor of pop culture, of the post-hippie generation, of the lower classes.

Stay tuned for more from the subconscious of the man who challenged Wacko Jacko....

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